Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
