i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
