Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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