And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
