i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
