I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i now understand why vodka
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
