He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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