Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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