I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
