did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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