ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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