called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
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tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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