i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
