You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
