Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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