Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize