I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
