can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
