I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
