i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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