Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
