So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
