nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Text me some of your sweat
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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