I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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