my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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