My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
