I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
