My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
