I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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