Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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