so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
