I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
