No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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