the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize