So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
false alarm, still single
Randomize