covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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