Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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