i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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