Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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