so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
