Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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