The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
