If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
