I'm sorry my penis didn't work
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
