Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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