i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.