yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
