No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
