Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
