shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
