puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
