He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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