I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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