Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
