Will you blow on my dice?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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