Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
