if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
