Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
