im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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