Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
