Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
