new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped