You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
now i know why i became what i already was.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that