I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend