guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.