you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize