By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
