She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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