evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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